Thursday, May 5, 2016
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Lying is a slippery slope. It may seem like an easy fix in the moment, a way to avoid an argument or disappointment, but it creates a harmful lasting impact. The big problem with little lies is you may never know the damage you are causing. The slow breakage of trust and respect between you and your spouse, even when unintentional, can create a situation that can’t be fixed. If you are going to take one thing from this post, it’s this: Both people must accept responsibility and agree to work towards total honesty if lying is an issue in your marriage. Once you sit down and figure out why the lies are happening, you can start to rebuild the foundation of trust and love that brought you two together in the first place.
Monday, April 25, 2016
- Live in the present- This is something I heard all my life from my father, and it didn’t really start making sense until I was married and pregnant. My father has always talked about how every chapter in his life has had something to look forward to. It did not sadden him when his life shifted and changed, because he knew there was always something wonderful happening in his life, in that moment. Nothing upsets my father more than when instead of enjoying the moment, we are fretting about tasks that need to get done the next day. Time and time again, I have watched my Dad soak in a wonderful moment and internalize it to the point that he is able to recall it in a way that all of his senses are involved in the memory. This is not an easy thing to accomplish, but I know it’s so crucial to stop and enjoy the present before it flies by and becomes the distant past.
- Visualize your dreams- My Dad is a doctor, and one of the ways he kept himself motivated was he visualized himself walking into an exam room, in a white coat saying, “Hello I am Dr. Perez.” It sounds simple, but it wasn’t until I was in college when I truly understood how powerful visualization can be. I too developed a visual motivator. When things would get especially difficult, I would picture myself standing in front of a bright classroom full of smiling faces and I would say, “Hello class, I am your teacher, Ms. Perez.” It always got me through! I also used this when I was pregnant and preparing for childbirth. I wanted to have a natural childbirth, and I developed a visualization of laying on the hospital bed and the doctor placing my daughter on my chest and looking into her eyes. The visualization was so powerful that it would bring me to tears each time I used it, and even though I didn’t have a natural childbirth, it is what helped to keep me calm during my emergency c-section.
- There is always a solution- My father has always said, “There is always a solution to the problem even if the solution is, there is no solution.” Thinking about this saying makes me laugh because it doesn’t really seem logical, but to the Perez kids- it makes perfect sense. What my father meant by this was that if there is a problem that you can solve, you will solve it. If it’s something that is out of your hands, than that is the solution, and we should not worry about it because there is nothing you can do about that problem,other than changing your outlook by making a paradigm shift, which leads me to my next point...
- Make a paradigm shift- as a kid, I rolled my eyes every time I heard my Dad say, “Just make a paradigm shift.” because he said it a lot! I am so glad he did though, because this is one of my greatest strengths, my most favorite lesson to teach my students, and one of the first major values I hope to instill in my daughter. There are so many times in life when you are facing a problem or a challenge and the solution is out of your hands. When this happens instead of becoming a victim, you need to change your outlook on that problem. My dad would explain it as putting on a different set of glasses, or looking at the problem in a different way. Mastering the ability to make a paradigm shift can alter your life and empower you in ways you may never have realized.
- If something scares you, do it anyway- My Dad lost his father when he was just 13 years old. He has always said that after his father died, nothing scared him- the worst had already occurred in his life. I truly think this sorrowful event was a catalyst for some of my father’s achievements in life and is an a major event I can point to when figuring out where his strength derives from. Failure can be scary, but my father has always pushed us to follow our passion even if we were afraid because true failure is when you don’t even try.
Friday, April 22, 2016
A hack is a “clever solution to a tricky problem.” Those of us who frequent social media are all too familiar with the plethora of articles and videos that claim to show us a multitude of ways to make things easier for ourselves, also known as “Life Hacks.” These hacks come in all forms. I am a personal fan of beauty hacks, especially those that help me deal with my thick, curly hair, and I quite enjoy watching videos and flipping through the slide shows of different ways to tame my mane. Yet all too recently, I have seen one too many articles with titles like, “Beauty Hacks Every Lazy Girl Should Know.” Since when is a person who wants to find a clever solution for a problem considered “lazy?”
I would not consider myself lazy. My beauty routine is quick and simple, because it is not something that I care a lot about; however, my desire to find ways to make applying makeup and doing my hair easier should not equate to laziness. Let me get this straight-as a teacher I work 60 hours a week. This does not include time spent on the weekend planning and grading. I run after school clubs and am involved in my local school union. I am a mother of an energetic 7 month old and a wife who likes to spend time with her husband when she can. I also have friends who I try and see now and again, and family who fills my time as well. Yet because I don’t want to spend a long amount of time on my hair and makeup, I am given the label, “lazy.”
Now, I am not the type of woman who is trying to sound better than others because I do not spend a lot of time on my beauty routine, and I definitely do not judge women who do. In this day and age, I do not believe makeup or lack thereof is an indication of one’s feminist values. I know some pretty badass feminists who always wear a full face of makeup, just like I know some who don’t even own any lip gloss.
The point I am trying to make is simple- don’t call women “lazy girls,” because they don’t want to spend a lot of time on a beauty routine. Stop indoctrinating women through social media, advertisements, and fashion, leading them to believe that there is a right and a wrong amount of time to spend on their looks. The beauty of beauty is that it is multifaceted and not based on one set of standards-at least that’s how it should be. Unfortunately, articles like the ones I am referring to create, even if doing so inadvertently, a “right” and a “wrong” way of doing things. The word “lazy,” has a negative connotation. It describes someone who spends less time and effort on something than they should.
So, I say to all the ladies out there, if you want to spend an hour on your makeup-do it! If you want to spend 1 minute-cool! Neither of those are the wrong way as long as you are happy with how you look and feel. Don’t let a silly article or video make you feel like you should be spending more time (and money) on your daily routine if that’s not who you are. Keep doing what you are doing, and the next time you come across an article targeted for “lazy girls,” on your newsfeed read it with a grain of salt, or just keep scrolling.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
We used to….
Call each other to talk about a crazy sleepless night at a club and ask advice about boys
Call each other to talk about a crazy sleepless night with a newborn and ask advice about sleep training
Discuss the pros and cons of “bad boys”
Discuss the pros and cons of investment property
Shop for club tops, dresses, and heels that made us feel sexy
Shop for suit jackets and shoes with a reasonable heel that make us feel responsible
Celebrate good grades, college acceptances, and scholarships
Celebrate new jobs, promotions, and degrees
Ask for help with math homework, projects, and essays
Ask for help with taxes, resumes, and 401K’s
Help each other meet cute guys who would eventually break our hearts
Help each other network with people who can take us forward in our careers
Pose for pictures at prom
Pose for pictures at weddings
Get together to play with a new puppy
Get together to welcome a new baby
Plan sleepovers and house parties
Plan bachelorette parties and baby showers
Pregame with shots while getting ready together and go out to a club around 11pm
Finish a bottle or two of wine while talking and catching up and head home around 11 pm
You see, the thing about girlfriends is- even though time will change your relationship by leaps and bounds, if you continually celebrate each other and support one another, you will always have a friendship worth working for.
Monday, March 14, 2016
"You smell good," I'm told
"It's Eau de Breast milk..." I say
"...would you like a spritz?"
When she falls asleep
After a nursing session
I feel complete
More of me to love
She deserves the best
Sunday, March 13, 2016
strife of womanhood- they will no longer be seen as experiences of “the other,” rather the moments that many, if not all women, will go through at some point in their lives. Maybe in time the shame, guilt, and secrecy will be no more.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
So, why are we afraid of a little man called Donald Trump? I know his big mouth and hateful following is something we do not want in our city. But we must not forget, this is OUR city. We are the ones who have the power in this situation. We can welcome Trump into our home and show him with our peaceful protests or through an empty pavilion that we will not stand for what he represents. By signing a petition to cancel his rally we are only stifling ourselves. What is it that you want people to know about Trump? Now is the time to write it on a poster board or blast it from a megaphone.
I would rather see a TV spot about how Trump could not be heard over the cacophony of Chicagoans who showed up to the rally to protest his potential candidacy. Or how he gave a speech to an almost empty pavilion. By canceling the rally we are saying, "Trump is too much for us to handle," we are saying, "We are afraid."
Bring Trump to Chicago- show up and protest, or don't show up at all. Either way, we must show him, his hateful platform has no power in our city.